Posts Tagged ‘clients’
"The Check's in the Mail" Time Warp
I am working on a bit of a theory. Let’s see if you follow.
Two letters are mailed from the exact same mailbox in Los Angeles, CA at exactly the same time from the exact same mailbox. They weigh the same. They have the proper postage.
They are subsequently picked up by a fine and competent United States mail carrier. He delivers the letter to the local post office and the letters are successfully sorted and put on route to their destination, Washington, PA. Basically, the delivery process goes without a hitch, which really is typical of the US mail service. It really is a marvel, if you think about it.
Now these two letters were absolutely identical in every way, except that one contains a check with my name in the “To” line. Common sense would dictate that the two items of correspondence would be delivered to their final destination (my mailbox) on the same day - a day or two later at the most. but we are not taking into account the “The Check’s in the Mail” Time Warp.
Somewhere over a state I’ve never been too, Kansas or Iowa or maybe even Oklahoma, a time rift will actually invisibly disrupt the delivery process causing envelopes containing checks to mystically disappear for weeks, maybe even months, before being magically returned to their intended route.
To estimate your delivery date for letters with or without checks please consult the following formulas (not yet completely endorsed by the US Postal Service).
No Check: t = ceil(d/500) +/- 1
With Check: t = ceil(d/500) +/- (6 weeks)
